The Disconnection

How do you explain something as complex as disconnecting from yourself to a shallow, simple-minded person?

You've been following someone else-a path so foreign and yet intrigueing from your own. Hopefully there is peace in the end, but not suprisingly it never comes. The more you follow, the more you get lost.

"The more you follow me,

the more I get lost."

-The Babyshambles

You've wondered so far off of your old path that you can barely even remember what is was like. But this feels like a good thing, you really don't want to remember it. Even though you aren't completely satisfied and content with it, it has to be better because its different. Somehow you're getting somewhere, somewhere new and mysterious. After all, whats better to live for than the mystery, the darkness, anything out of the ordinary from the boring and mundane.

Life is better inside the mind. There, its fresh, bold, an full of romantic and artistic ideals. Unfortunately, it's not reality, and as much as I would like to convince myself otherwise, that world is more painful. The pain comes from forcing your mind to overcome your heart. You must forget what you desire for and concentrate on what is real and what is really happening. Put up that wall, divide yourself from the others, never letting them fully know or see. See that (an extremely cliched, hackneyed line) you have "lost yourself" and have to pretend this new path makes you happy and made you who you are. Just swallow the lie and make yourself believe it. Finally, you come to the conclusion that your subconscience cannot accept this lie-and that is why you feel the disconnection.